Throughout August I really want to focus on building a yoga practice based on continuity. I have dabbled in yoga over the past few years but have never been particularly consistent, mainly because I didn't give myself the time during a day to do yoga and the yoga I had followed along with I didn't find interesting.

 However, over the past few days I have allowed myself to be more creative within my practice and have seen vast improvements in my energy levels during the mornings. I have recently found a yoga instructor on youtube called Ali Kamenova and I find her classes perfect for what I want! Although some of it I find extremely difficult I think about what I want out of the class and do what feels good for my own body, of course everybody is totally different so what I want to focus on releasing or strengthening might be completely different to another person. I do more vinyasa flow yoga during the mornings as I feel like it really wakes me up and gives me so much more energy and a more positive start to the morning. Just over these past few days yoga isn't a chore at all and I feel really excited and passionate to begin my practice. During the evenings I love to do much more meditative, yin style yoga to really open up certain parts of my body . If I have time I will end with some meditation which I would love to explore and get into more later on.

I did dance for about 10 years of my life but quit a few months ago as I wasn't enjoying it and found myself to be very self critical during classes, I don't think mentally it was very healthy to me personally and I wasn't in the best of places, perhaps I will continue in a few months but for now I'm really enjoying the place I'm in and feel like I have finally found something that I really feel passionate about. Through dance I am still reasonably strong in my legs and core but my upper body is quite weak so I am going to focus on that. My hamstrings are quite flexible but I think I had a lot of bad habits when it came to stretching for dance and I think I let my hamstrings over-compensate for my very inflexible hips and inner thighs, so this is mainly what I want to focus on opening, along with some neck and upper back work.

Obviously I'm not telling anybody that they absoulutely have to start a yoga practice but I think if you have been struggling to find some form of movement that you enjoy or find inspiring and would like to, yoga might be a good form to try. Like me, it may take research and trying out a few different forms of yoga but once you are enjoying what you are doing it really makes a difference in your mood and other aspects of your life. I'm going to try and do weekly updates of my progress or if I have some sort of breakthrough during my practice to try and track my progress so I can look back and see what I have achieved.








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 Everybody has a place that immediately relaxes them and makes them feel at peace, and for me that place is the beach. I think there is something so calming about being there (even if it is a packed front in mid-August!)
 Breathing in the sea air is one of the most incredible feelings, and I try to get down to the beach as much as possible even though I live as in-land as possible.  No two times a person goes to the same beach is ever going to be an exact replica, the waves crash effortlessly every time into a completely unique formation and the sands bumps and crevasses are beautifully intricate to that day. That's why I find photographing this type of scenery so interesting as every time you go is totally different to the last.

 

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People are difficult. Many may deny it but all relationships take time to grow, no matter what kind of relationship that is. But when is it right to let it go? I have been going through a situation like this and I am sure that many people have throughout their lives. Yet the most difficult part isn't coming to  the conclusion that this relationship isn't working, but working out how to let go. If somebody has been so intrinsically involved in your life for a long period of time they are undoubtedly going to have had some sort of effect on you, and although that effect may be good to start off with, that doesn't mean it will stay that way forever or necessarily has to in order for it to have still been something incredible. Some might think that this is a relatively cynical approach to look at things however I don't see it like that at all-I believe that people are constantly fluid and it is important to accept this, with all the emotions that it may come with, and live your life to the fullest that you possibly can.

Yet right now I feel as though I am in this position where I cannot move forward or continue growing in order to become the best possible person i can be (a grey area almost). It isn't so much that I am holding feelings of anger towards these people or that I am not grateful for all they do for me and continue to do so, it is just an extremely negative environment to be surrounded in and I don't feel like that is right or particularly healthy for any parties involved. I think humans rely heavily on speech, body language and expression to get their point across, and I feel as though this isn't possible right now as nobody is saying what is truly going on or how they feel, consequently leading to constantly attacking each other. I'm sure I am not the only one that does this but when I feel attacked I become a person that I don't want to be and shift into this mindset of protection, which very much comes across as rude and possibly equally attacking. I personally don't know how to solve this situation but then again is it a matter of needing to be solved or just best for everybody involved to distance myself from this environment that I am finding upsetting right now? At the moment I am focusing to not hold on to feelings of anger as it is extremely unhelpful, draining and non-productive to do so-one of my favourite quotes regarding this topic is that by holding on to anger 'you are drinking poison and expecting other beings to get hurt' and I believe that is particularly important to remember.

I guess time will tell what happens to these situations but at this moment in my life I have realised that it is pointless to hold onto fakeness, as it immediately gives your life less depth, richness and clarity. It can make you feel alone even if you are surrounded with a crowd of these people, which is probably one of the most damaging situations you can put yourself in, yet it is easy to overcome. Cut them off, therefore freeing yourself of excess weight, this can be particulary freeing if you are not getting anything back in return in the first place. This is what I am going to try to overcome and instead build relationships with people that matter, a few or even one good relationship with another rather than one hundred that isn't affecting you in a positive manner, is without question a better scenario to be in. I don't believe in setting unnecessary expectations in ones life but this is one that I so desperately want to achieve and is absolutely neccessary.